I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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