i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
