i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this will be a night to untag.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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