Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
