To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
