We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
