Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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