I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
