Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
