summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
