Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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