I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
