Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
