I will die if light touches me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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