Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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