I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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