No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
