I think my vagina is haunted
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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