I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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