I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
