My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
