Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
