Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
