A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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