I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
