i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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