do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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