I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
