My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
