During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think my fart just growled at me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
