didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
