I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
