Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
