Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
A bitchslap is in order.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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