Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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