is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
