I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
