Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
