he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
