I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
