We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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