I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
