I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
