I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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