walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
