My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
