I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
