I think I am morally bankrupt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
