Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
