Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
