It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
