Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize