when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize