3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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