it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize