I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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