You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
