I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
