Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize