WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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